Shades of Jade

What am I doing here?
What’s the point anymore?
I don’t belong here.
Shrouded by shades of jade.
Everything is dark and grey.
Struggling to see purpose,
All I see is one big stage.

What am I doing here?
Is there anything more?
Looking for depth and life,
I find pretty cut flowers.
Superficial and meaningless,
Shadows of what could be.
Dying from the inside out.

Jaded to the way things are,
Guardedly hopeful for tomorrow.
Change must come from within.
It starts with one.

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Racing Thoughts

Sleep eludes me, slips through my grasp-

rapidly firing neurons wage war

against my cerebral cortex

transforming my brain into a

battleground of synaptic explosions.

Disjointed thoughts tangentially traipse

through the trenches of a fractured mind-

the rhythm of the ceiling fan matches the

throbbing and humming inside my skull

and ideas flutter and flit through my mind

like a carefree band of shadows playing tag.

An idea turns into an itch, then into a flame

that burns at my sanity until I give in to the

thoughts that will not be silent until they are

satiated and tucked in with paper and ink-

witching hour poetry pours out from the

crevasses of the mind until the burning thoughts

are satisfied that they have been properly

tended to, and at long last, may permit me rest.

Lyrics

I’ve been wanting to write this poem, or one similar to it, for a while. The lines are comprised from phrases from different songs. To give credit, the artists used, in order, are: Pam Tillis, Andrew Peterson, Dave Barnes, Johnny Cash, Goo Goo Dolls, Aerosmith, Kelly Clarkson, Dierks Bentley, Dolly Parton, Pink, and Eagles.

 

If you’re coming with me,

You need nerves of steel.

Dancing in the minefields.

I’ve been a walking heartache;

I’ve made a mess of me.

The beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad,

So I had one more for dessert.

Bleed just to know you’re alive.

Run away, run away from the pain.

Bad angel, get off of my shoulder.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Don’t let me get me.

I’ve got all I need,

Jesus and gravity.

Learn to be still.

Life is Pain

“Life is pain”
Tattooed on bare skin.
Simple words bear witness
To scars that start within.

Invisible concrete walls,
Metaphorical barbed wire.
External defenses mask
Internal agony and fire.

Scars replace wounds,
Skin eventually heals.
Slowly self remembers
How warm grace can feel.

Day by day,
Journeying in true light.
Recalling the darkness
Makes it seem ever bright.

Surviving

Head down, glazed over eyes,
One foot in front of the other.
Like a slowly dripping leak,
Each day melts into the next.

Blank stare and a fake smile,
Pretending everything is fine.
Smoldering embers of pain
Burn concealed on the inside.

How much longer until the fire
Burns through the interior and
The blazing inferno breaches
The counterfeit calm exterior?