Pacing up and down,
Never content to stay,
My sorrows I try to drown,
Without giving myself away.

Blending into the woodwork,
Holding in the pain,
Trying not to seem a jerk,
When my demons win again.

Instability and pride,
Trying to hold me back,
Gnawing from the inside,
An invisible attack.

Calm on the surface,
Internally feeling alone,
Seeking peace and solace,
From God upon His throne.

Jesus also wandered,
Spent much time alone,
Immanuel, God on earth,
Together we’ll make it home.


6 thoughts on “Restless

  1. You have no idea what the first three stanzas of this meant to me…. I’m in awe.
    (and I wish I could have your solace)

    Beautiful. Really.

  2. Thanks, Bells. A lot of times I feel like such a fake on the surface while I’m dying a slow death inside. The solace isn’t always there, but I’m learning where to look for it, and it isn’t booze, cutting, or self-deprecation. My journey is one day at a time.

  3. God gives you peace and faith to carry on…

    lovely job!
    thanks for bringing in extraordinary treats to our table.
    please feel free to look around and enjoy some others’ cook.

  4. Peace to you, my friend!
    Looks like you have been through a hell lot!! But boy!! Am I glad you have shone through it all…
    ope and courage are the tickets to any release!!

    A powerful and intense poem – very well written!!
    Poetry potluck gives you a warm welcome..

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